Penultimate Blog

Hello,

So we left you in Nottingham. I was going to try update this more often, but what with playing two sets a night (and therefore two soundchecks), selling merch, travelling and so on, we've not really been on the 'net.

Nottingham was a bit weird. The audience at the front were lovely - and seemed to enjoy it. But there were a bunch of people at the back talking very loudly throughout both our and Ginger's sets. I can understand why they might during our set - they hadn't come to see us, after all - but during Ginger's? Why pay £x and then chat with your mates all the way through? All it does is impede the other people in the crowd's enjoyment of the gig. Plus, Junktion 7 in Nottingham has a very nice bar downstairs where you can gas and natter to your heart's content. It's disrespectful to the people who are trying to listen and it's disrespectful to the bands. Anyway, you play to the people who have come to see you rather than the ones who haven't, so we enjoy ourselves all the same... apart from our collective illnesses:

Chris:

Nasty cold
Allergies
Bad knee
Sore throat
Toothache

Davros:

Cold
Awful cough and sore throat
Fucked foot
Knackeredness from working every day and then doing a gig every night

Aww, diddums. A lovely girl in the audience throws me a packet of Lemsips for which we are very grateful. Thank you. That's just about the cutest thing anyone's ever done for me during a gig. Actually, it's the second, but I can't tell you the first because I found out yesterday my mum reads this thing.

Anyway it was fun as it always is in Nottingham, but if you were one of the talkers - it's cool if you don't like our band - that's fine. But please don't impede other people's enjoyment, go to the bar or something.

We go back to the hotel after the gig and sleep our knackers off. Davros and I are generally sharing a bed on this tour, and we manage to get through four nights before one of us ends up putting their arm round the other in their sleep.

Worcester is next up, and we arrive nice and early to take Scott Metzger, Ginger's guitarist on this tour and all-round nice guy, to Worcester Cathedral, which is beautiful. I am often drawn to wonder whether Motley Crue got up to similar rock n'roll antics.

The gig is another one frequented by talkers. Again, go hang out in the bar bit, or something. Once again, though, the people who have come to listen are bloody lovely, and we sell another shitload of stuff. Cheers Worcester. Marrsy, the venue owner, seems to like us, and we like him and his venue too. See you again! The Best Guitarist In The World Jase Edwards comes to say hello, but won't get up on stage with us to do Jimmy Webb's Wichita Lineman. The Best Song In The World performed by us and The Best Guitarist In The World would have been a very cool thing, but Jase quite understandably just wants to enjoy the gig. Top man.

Exeter is maybe the best gig of the tour so far. Ace venue, and lovely audience. Damian our wonderful website guru comes so we swag him up good and proper with a shirt and some CDs. He will never know just how grateful we are. There's some comedy hecklers here... 'Comedy' doesn't necessarily mean 'funny' though.

Us: 'Hi, we're Eureka Machines'
Pissed guy: 'Uuuurghhaachhllammaaaa'
Us: 'Sorry?'
Pissed guy: 'Uuuurghhaachhllammaaaa!!!'
Us:

There's often just nothing you can say. A great one was in Nottingham during Ginger's set:

Pissed Woman: 'GINGER!'
Ginger: 'Yeah?'
Pissed Woman: 'GINGER!!'
Ginger: 'What?'
Pissed Woman: 'GINGER!!! WATER!'

What does this mean? And why does she shout it? Heckling's brilliant. (Sometimes.) We're not drinking on this tour, partly out of solidarity for our sober brothers Ginger and Scott, partly because it makes the next day easier and mainly because we play better sober. But being sober shows just how dull you are when you're drunk.

Exeter is cool though, with an amazing sound (thanks Alex!) and lovely room. Nothing comedy happens. Nothing comedy has really happened on this tour.

London has high points and low:

HIGH
It's a great gig
There is a very special moment in one of the songs, where everyone in a room of 300 people is totally silent, for which I will be grateful for for all time
Rock Sound and Classic Rock are here to review it
Banter factor is high
Shane the soundguy is the most positive and enthusiastic soundguy in the history of soundguys

LOW
The tour car gets broken into and Scott's bag gets nicked
Pissed bloke nearly falls all over Ginger's son Jake during his set

We do a trawl up and down the streets to see if the bag is about, if it's been rifled through and chucked, but no luck. Which is a shame, but Scott remains ever-positive and we joke about how some smackhead must have been disappointed with his stinking t-shirts. It puts a dampener on a night that had already had a dampener when some bloke tried to get on stage and nearly toppled into Ginger's kid Jake. It's one thing falling all over his pedals, mic stand, or for that matter him, but if you're gonna fall into his son, he's gonna (rightfully) protect him. If you can't handle your ale, don't drink. At least not in public, anyway.

Brighton tomorrow which is great. Davros and I introduce Scott to the joy and wonder of fish and chips. If you ever get chance to show an American mushy peas, please do. It will enrich your day. Great gig tonight. Jon Poole turns up and brightens up everyone's day with his own peculiar brand of heavy petting. He gets up with me and we do an acoustic version of the God Damn Whores/Cardiacs fans' fave Silvery. Later he has a piss through my legs. I miss that guy.

Last night was Winchester. Kerrang came down to review this gig, but I made a fatal error by eating a fuckload of pasta about one hour before we play. This leads to the songs being played half the speed they should be, and the banter being enforced to a minimum. Still, it's great fun, and the guys and gals down the front seem to enjoy themselves. The venue is gorgeous and Hugh the soundguy (and his assistant Phoebe) do us proud once again. Cheers guys. Top night. Tim 'Cardiacs' Smith comes to see us and gets legendarily pissed. Another legend called Tim is down the front singing along to every word of our set. Albeit about two seconds after we'd sung them. Tim just needs a bag, then the picture is complete.

Oh and Winchester sees us selling our tea bag. This is Hot News. In Leicester I was really bored and set up a tea bag that I'd used on our merch table, putting it up at a fiver, for a joke. A bloke came up to me and said, utterly seriously, 'You'll never sell that'. Which kind of missed the point. But it set something off in me that made me desperate to sell it. It went to superfan Steve and his daughter, who also bought a t-shirt and a bunch of CDs. Cheers guys.

Tonight is the last date of the tour in St Albans and it will be fun, but tinged with a slight sadness at not having any more gigs for a bit, and also at saying goodbye to Ginger, Scott and Jane. I'd never met Scott before this stint, and I can honestly say he's an absolute diamond bloke who I hope to keep in touch with and work with again. And a brilliant guitarist with some face-melting licks. Fire it up!

This tour has been brilliant for us - selling nearly 500 CDs and going back to Leeds with almost 1000 new names on the mailing list. Seriously and with all sincerity, thanks to everyone we've played to on this tour.

I'm off for a fag now, because this ended up being about twice as long and half as funny as I'd intended.

We Love You.
Chris + Davros x